I love how each Sabbat anchors me into this time and space. It’s such a special time to reflect on Imbolc, of increasing daylight, to be gestating our dreams from the Universe, into reality. 

• I honored Lunar New Year by holding an intention circle with a group I weave my dreams with. I envisioned gracefully slithering out and away from my past. 

• I honored Imbolc by gathering in a circle of women. We pulled cards and set our intentions for the year. We received unified unconditional love and wove our intentions into form.

For me, this is an historical time of release and a time of recurring transformations.This is the time of year when I separated from my Mother, when I felt reconnected with spirit and when I was initiated into death.  

Now, I am approaching my own death and transformation- consciously releasing the identity I was born into, in this lifetime. I am working with a Death Doula and following The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, which is a TV series on Peacock. 

February 14 marks the date of my transition. I will have completed the journey of “Communing with Death” an experience for my own learning. It has allowed me to: reflect on the past and what I am putting to rest; “clean up” all that I have created; intend the legacy I leave by stewarding my path as an ancestor to my future generations.

The skin I am releasing:

My early experiences of separation from my mother, learning to regulate my body and nervous system on my own. By age three, I experienced a split between ego and soul regarding trust in my father. By age six, I began experiencing distortion in my inner voices, and by age nine, I struggled to express my voice, any time I was feeling unsafe. My only “safeguard” was full submission to oppressive acts.

I learned ways to block the voice of my inner light and experience myself as separate. 

I repeated patterns of separation through unfulfilling relationships, first with my father and then with each love connection, thereafter. My need for safety created unhealthy attachments that I used as evidence of being “trapped” inside of a controlled reality.

After separating from two abusive relationships and my business, with many attached relationships, I experienced an ego death. This led to further self-discovery journey: I enrolled myself into self-transformation courses where I began to seek reflection of my unconscious patterns. This journey, from head to heart, has brought me into my sadhana of death and re-birthing.   

As I witnessed the loop of distortion patterns I created through experiences of separation, I also realized my personal responsibility in reconnecting aspects of my fragmented soul. I have healed those patterns through compassion, peace and unconditional love. Now, I wish to create and serve humanity from that space.

Little did I know that I was preparing myself, spiritually, to hold space for transitions and experiences of transformation. 

The only way for me to hold that space is to embody all of my parts at the center of my being. As I go deeper into this space, I am processing a release of my current identity. I will be spending time in nature, along the Trinity River, honoring connection while being detached (simulating a “bardo” which refers to the state of the soul between death and rebirth). 

Read more, in my own self-written eulogy: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mmVB1TJ1QVxdWKJgyxLLNyPvBAa89VNuxZ4eU2kXruQ/edit?usp=sharing

As I leave this skin behind, I am seeing patterns releasing and new patterns emerging in front of me. A family in my community is going through a situation similar to my earliest trauma. There was abuse from the father, the mother is unstable and the children are traumatized from what they have witnessed and the waves of transitions that follow like aftershocks. 

The deepest, most tender and vulnerable part of me is asking for attention. I am no longer attached to the suffering of others. However, I am committed to transformation and I have come to know (and respect) a family who needs support. Please help me support her cause, through Trinity Peak Foundation. 

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Together, we can make a difference.

Human kind, BE kind humans

Until I am rebirthed, know that I have come to love life and all of its polarized possibilities. I am deeply human, one with the Earth. I rise, I fall and I rise again. I am at peace. 

TAROT from Kuan Yin shows us the divine power and gift of the circle of women that surrounds us. We are aligned and supported through all connections and relations, from the stars to each form. 

UP NEXT: OSTARA- intentional space for transformational journeys. I can’t wait for you to join me as we regulate together, from: suffering to freedom.